I was trying to run my mind away on the treadmill yesterday, and realized I am also running away from certain feelings, acceptance of deeper yet simple truths.
Yes, I am sensitive as a person. Yes, I love a lot. Yes, recently I have blamed myself for loving the wrong people and doubting my capabilities to stay or hold any place in anyone’s life. Making me feel so weak because I now realize I begged for a place in someones life. But, I will not deny any of these going further because in those little fights against myself .. I found a beautiful underlying strength.
In the dark nights, when I blamed myself for not giving enough or maybe It was me and my actions because of which all happened to me. But, now I see the light … I loved with all I had, I still can do the same. But, If the person rejects you for whatever reason , that is actually the reflection of their wants and not your limitations. You be you, who you are because no one else can do that better than you. And as hard as this may sound there is a big gift in not connecting with the ones who don’t see your value, as there is in being with the ones who do.
Will I ever love enough? Will someone ever even love me ? Will I be able to live with this fact that I feel like I have no one? Will I ever be successful ? Will I ever be able to ….? will I ever be…?
Insecurities gobble up our minds. It’s okay to ask yourself weird questions once in a while, it’s human to infact! You’re allowed to have insecurities, but don’t let them change who you are.. and your potential of being even better than who you are! but you got to do it for yourself and not because you have to be better than someone else!!
Please don’t let these insecurities make you feel like the people you compare yourself to are better, prettier, smarter, because you can always look at someone else and find one thing they have that you don’t, but that isn’t going to change who you are. Wishing to have what someone else has won’t help you love yourself, even if you manage to attain it.
Now, I know the thing that makes me strong, is that I have the guts to be vulnerable. I have the ability to feel the depths of my emotion, and I know that I will walk through it to the other side, eventually . It may take a while depending on the situation, but you will get across of the river. All you have to do is swim, don’t let the flow drown you..
You will get across to the other side because you can!