There is a lesson I learnt through loving so hard; it will not save me. Ultimately it’s up to me to pull myself back together. I am slowly learning that my life may not be perfect or smooth even, but as long as I’m there for myself and I will be okay. And slowly, I am learning that the only guarantee I have is for myself.
I am learning to stop giving people a free space in my heart when they kicked me out of theirs and I am learning to stop letting people define my worth. I still get upset and I still get disappointed but I’ll never again give power to anyone to break me so they can make themselves whole.
At this point, I cannot be so irresponsible. I cannot afford to put my heart into the wrong person and trust blindly that they won’t hurt me. I cannot act like a child, leap into the flames of danger without any heed for consequences and blame everyone but myself for getting burned. I cannot ignore my well-being and expect a person to be the solution to all my problems.
Don’t get me wrong. Love is beauty and magic. You see, I love love. Oh, Love! Love is my favourite emotion, feeling and place to be. Love is my strength, power and belief. Love is beautiful like the shining stars and magical like stardust. I am in love, with love. It is the best place to be and the best air to breathe.
As powerful as love is, it is not as powerful as you. Love isn’t everything and it will not save me…My heart will heal and all will be okay again. I won’t stop believing in love. I just won’t settle for just anyone. I have to be my own hero, I have to be my own sun. This is my story. This is my process. This is what I’ve come here to do.
I can restart my life and turn it into something that I want to be living and not spending counting and waiting for things to be okay. Only I can transform my life and my dreams. Only I can do that. Only I can make my heart whole again. There is me, I have all the power over myself. Nothing else is going to make my wishes come true. It is I, who will turn my world into a spellbinding galaxy like I always have wanted.
You are going to always be there for you. And you are going to turn your life into a life that is worth living. You see, you can do all of that for yourself. So… what are you waiting for?
Love isn’t going to save you or hold you in the dark. If you aren’t willing to keep looking for light in the darkest of places without stopping, even when it seems impossible, you will never succeed. You are the hope, you are the sign and you are the miracle that you are praying so hard for. You’re the only one who has the capability to save yourself. You’re your only chance.