When the sun falls below the horizon and the darkness fills the sky, I tend to think that there is some vulnerability in the night. There comes a point, where we tend to doubt what we knew was true. We tend to fall into an existential crisis in the worst case scenarios, or the Soul’s Dark Night. But we can make it through this dark time and shed what weighed down on us.
We feel stuck and lost. It feels like you’re confined in a place. There is everyone except you are not. You feel like others take control of your choices and you’ve also been confused with all these overwhelming emotions. There is a strong attachment to your past, traditions, and family. All the emotions associated with past experiences bubble to the surface. The energy you’ve been ignoring all this time is beginning to spread, and you’re starting to open up to the parts of your subconscious mind you’ve forgotten while you’re suppressing. It gets deeper and becomes darker.
When you’re going through your dark night, a part of you is dying.
You are becoming aware of the reactions that you have made and how the quality of your life has been controlled. The feeling of being stuck that usually happens when we begin to recognize all the limitations that we put on ourselves. So now, you break down those self-restraint walls.
Just feeling lost means that you no longer live by the script you created for yourself – you open up to a whole new way of living and a completely new life … It feels like you don’t know where you’re going, of course. But trust me to do what’s needed exactly.
You wake up slowly and realize that most people live on an engulfed, disconnected autopilot where everything from their own interests to their own lives is chosen more by what others consider fit and less by how they feel. Especially when your grounds are not the same, you don’t really have to fight it. Logic or no logic-letting it pass by is better than getting absorbed by it. In the beginning, it’s frustrating because that’s not how most of us are wired. It gets to you sometimes, but try not to react and don’t give it the power to control you.
Only when you begin to accept yourself for who you are when you speak from the ledges of changing every last detail of what you think and what you say, who you like and what you don’t like. The difference lies in that. The key lies there. You can’t please anyone nor should you even try. I know, I have learnt it the hard way.
You long for a sense of true belonging, but you may be quite restless in your search. The truth is night or day – the true you, the real you needs to accept, needs no validation, grieve not if anyone doesn’t make the effort to understand you.
Head up young soldier, heart beating strong and faith in yourself and the higher power!