All it takes, one little thing. One silly little action from someone you once a part of your life to shake the whole foundation you’ve lived on. There can be so much going on and you might be getting through it, but just one little thing.
It gets you into one of those downward spirals where one thing leads to another. It’s like your life is flashing in front of your eyes, you’re feeling every small bit of it. All the bad, and you suddenly feel bad about yourself and you find yourself at the bottom of the rock. I thought I was there, but it was not a bad phase. It was that blessing where I see everything I have said and done and then I ask myself now what? Where do I go from here?
You see, I saw that I tried too hard. I saw that I tried too hard to make everything work, to fix everything, to control everything but that’s never how it was supposed to be. Now, I see things clearly oh, I won’t lie it hurts so much but I’m not angry or sad anymore. I see the world for what it is. I see my fears and this I learnt after years of suffering and taking the hard route… Fear, it is forsaking the logic. It is willingly ignoring the patterns of life. You see fear feeds on us like a parasite, holds us in and asks us to give up. So, we yield to it or we fight it, but we cannot meet it halfway! So, be a Knight!
Walk away from the people who take and take and take, where all we do is give. We are allowed to walk away. We are allowed to walk away from anything that suffocates us. Walk away from the need or desire to be perfect for someone, because it is never enough. It’s alright, you know. To not look back on the life you hated, to the life you suffered. To not look back on the people who did nothing except choose themselves every single time in life. To not worry for once about how anyone would feel if you keep your happiness first.
I’m not saying do not be kind to them, I’m asking you to be kind to you as well. You’ve done every little thing asked of you, still, they want more. They want everything and you try too but is it really fair? Is it fair for them to ask it of you?
Is it okay that all of you is dying so that you can for once hear them say, “I’m proud of you” or “I love you”?
Can’t you see it’s all wrong, Love is not supposed to ask anything but set you free?
You’ve kept them in front of you for so long and you don’t even know who you are?!
So, moving ahead from all that is not wrong. We are taught to remain silent so many times. We’re taught to remain hidden. We’re told not to speak out. We are told at all costs to avoid confrontation. So, we build walls so high that we can’t breathe again but we believe it is for us to be safe.
But what if somebody still hurts us? What if we’re killed by something? So what are we going to do? Do we remain silent? Are we still tightly lipped? No. We’ve got to speak or at least do something we have to do.
It really empowers us to realize how much power we have in our minds, in our hearts, in our willpower of our own. So go on. Give yourself a new life, start new because you’re worthy of every chance. You’ve given them so many, why can’t you give yourself one? Don’t look back. Promise that you won’t look back. It’s all right to go and it is alright to look ahead!
I swear to you that you’re better off. You’re better off without that burden. You’re better off without all that weight of the world you carry along !
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I feel your pain. For 50 years I have had to go No Contact with family because they are destroyers. Fundamental religion destroys creativity. And I let that happen for too many decades with the ‘outer ring’ of narcissists. Now? I am very ill and I think of that I could have done with ignoring, banishing them from my life. Too late, but for you, please read “The Courage to Create.” That will help. We have to protect our creativity from the onslaughts of others.
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